Same thing we do everyday Pinky: Try to take over the world!!

Hello all my peeps. Sorry I haven't posted in ages, but I've been busy.

I also no longer live and work on campus because I now have a P.C. in my room at home.

My plans for world domination are, as always, coming along nicely!!

As you may have realised from the previous statement, I have finally bought my very own P.C. Yay !!!!!!! I promptly went onto the Quiksilver website and downloaded practically every desktop available. There are some kiff shots of Kelly, Mar Ohno and some new young whipper - snapper Jimmy Rotherham who I have never heard of before.

I tried plying some information about our young friend Jimmy out of my "walking surf - culture database" mate, Glenn Harpur. I swear, the guy knows more about surf culture and surfing than anyone alive!!! He's also pretty hot in the water and I've seen the furry little hobbit bust a move or two in his time. Even he hadn't heard of this young upstart. I must investigate.... Jimmy looks pretty damn good though, and he has what looks like a good, fluid, attack which is necessary if you want your surfing to look aesthetically pleasing. Hmmm, reminds me of myself when I was younger.

Anyway, after that short dissertation on the technicalities of wave - riding, back to other more important things. Went swimming this morning for *Shock and Horror* the first time this week. What !? It was cold ok?? Let him who has not sinned cast the first stone. Grahamstown gets so cold at times that I would suggest that anyone wanting to study here should first go and live at the South Pole in a tent with no sleeping bags, blankets or heat - emitting devices for a week and then you might just be able to survive here. Well it was cold, so I decided to chill and live to fight another day rather than get sick.

Contrary to what the passage above might suggest, I am on a "fitness drive" (I've been swimming, cycling and playing squash) because I realise that taking over the world is going to require some level of physical fitness and besides, a healthy body is a healthy mind !!!! (I'm rambling again aren't I? I think it may be the after - effects of the temporary state of oxygen deprivation that I experienced this morning while swimming - my breathing was all wrong you see) I need a healthy mind for my thesis. Which is beginning to drag a little.

Swot week is almost upon us. It starts next week Monday. HELP!!! The year has gone by so damn quickly!! I finished off an 18 pg. practical report this morning and I have an essay to do for the 2nd of Nov. plus that T - word. It's also my brother's birthday tomorrow (23 Oct). He is turning 28, so spare the man a thought will you? If you can, please would you SMS him at
(094) 479 5238 5179. It's double the price of a normal SMS, but you can afford that can't you?Just tell him you're one of my homeys and wish him a happy Birthday. Shot.

Anyway Must go now - I have breakfast to eat, coffee to drink and an essay to write.

Auf Weidersehen!!!

Plumber's bum.

In 1972 a crack commando unit was sentenced to prison by a military court for a crime they did not commit. These men promptly escaped from a maximum security stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, still wanted by the government, they survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, maybe you can hire... the A - team.

Well, I kinda needed the A - team at 11pm last Saturday evening.

Hello everybody !!!!!!!! Well, I've been rather busy lately so I haven't posted for a while, which I know is driving everyone up the wall because you all want to read my blog don't you? So in the interests of my sanity.... here goes.

Ja, about the saturday evening thing:

Allow me, if you will, to set the scene: We'd just had a fairly successful surprise birthday party for our amazingly wonderful digsmate K.C. (her full name is Keira Christy, which I personally like better 'cos I think Keira is a really nice name that shouldn't be abbreviated).

Anyway, I was just about to head off to bed, but just before I went I got the urge to go to the little boy's room. Fastforward 15 minutes and I am attempting to flush the toilet. As watched the bowl I noticed that it was rapidly filling up. At this point I realised that something was drastically wrong and I decided that the logical thing to do would be to flush the toilet again to get rid of the apparent blockage that was causing the problem. BAD MOVE!!!

In almost slow - motion the water level in the toilet bowl continued to rise and powerless to anything I stared on in absolute horror and disbelief as the entire volume of the toilet bowl overflowed onto the bathroom floor. When it stopped there was about an inch of water covering the floor. So here I am in semi - formal attire attempting to mop up the bathroom floor with old car - washing towels and some crusty old mop that is about as useful as a kick in the groin.

Oh my did I ever wash my hands after that!! I think I soaked them in dishwashing liquid as well as normal soap and washed my hands in very hot water to kill anything that well, you get the picture. If I had Savlon or Dettol (antiseptic solutions used for first aid) I would have used that too. Damn !!! I felt so icky !!!

In other news, I have found direction for my work and am now merely being lazy and blogging instead.

Tomorrow is a monumental occasion for me but I will tell you all about that tomorrow :)

Jimmy (my biclycle) is a very happy young lad. Today I finally completed his overhaul and can now be seen sporting brand spanking new slicks (as opposed to knobbly tires) and toe clips (which keep the balls of your feet on the padals and allow you to pull upwards as well (which you are supposed to do). He's smiling from ear to ear believe me. All the girl - bikes are gonna have to guard ther hearts let me tell you. But any girl - bike that comes along is going to have to go through me and a very stringent testing process first if she's going to get to my Jimmy. Also, his triplet members (Jame's and Nathan's bikes - Jeremiah and Shemiramoth) will look out for him too. As for Jimmy, he's quite content in his singleness and is faithfully on about his father's business.

I took Jimmy for a ride out of town the other day. Went quite far (maybe 20km) and I was having quite a lot of fun until I turned around to go back. Not only was there a massive head wind but the pleasant little downhill had turned into a massive uphill ride. By the time I got back I had almost frozen to death. Stupid me !!

NEway, must go now because blogging is a colossal waste of time whichever way you wnat to look at it.

Chow.

Keelhauled !! Well, Almost....

Had a brainwave last night: Phoned a friend and suggested we go surfing at 5 am. The cold front had just come through and our conversation went something like this:

"Hi, Glen ??"

"Ja, Hi bru. How are you?"

"I'm cool."

"So, what have you got going on tomorrow?"

"Nothing much. A lecture at 9, Why?"

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to go for a surf tomorrow at five. Actually you don't really have any choice in the matter, I'm just phoning to tell you that you are taking us to the beach. If you don't, Ill just come over there and break your hip!"

"Uh, sure, see you at five then!" (trying to sound optimistic and cheerful)

"Great, see you then mate!!!"

"Bye"

"Bye".....

Ah the gentle art of persuasion. I (unlike others) have clearly read the book How to win friends and influence people and am successfully putting the principles I learned into practice.

So down to the beach we go. We are both champing at the bit the whole way down (its a 45 min. drive) because we haven't ridden anything in ages. We get there and much to our dismay, the sea is very rough (but not that big - only 5 foot or so) and the break is not handling it very well. Some waves were breaking out at about 3 km from shore (they were rather large). Anyway, we paddle out in the frigid water (it normally gives you an ice - cream headache). After a while it becomes evident to both of us that we have a snowball's hope in hell of getting out to backline so we turn around and head in.

I catch a giant foamie and go almost all the way in. Then I start getting sucked back into the freakin' rip!!! Now, an experienced surfer like myself has no cause to worry about this - just a slight irritation really. The only problem is, experience only counts when you are fit. I (read my previous post - "Faster: The acceleration of just about everything") am categorically unfit. I made the fatal mistake of thinking that I was fit.

Now, the number one rule of ripcurrents is: "don't fight them". These words of wisdom only hold true however, when there aren't viciously sharp slices of mango (sorry, that was the other day's post. I mean rocks) vicioulsy sharp rocks which waves are breaking into right next to you and you aren't being pushed into said rocks by the waves.

Now if you know anything about the sea and rocks and surfing, you will know three things:

1) getting washed onto barnacle - covered rocks in anything bigger than a small sea is not conducive to long life and happiness.

2) Fibreglass surfboards and rocks have a long history of enmity between them, and when fibreglass meets rock, the rock usually wins.

3) Ditto for human flesh/heads and rock.

So in any case here I am getting pushed into these rocks. Now, I can see exactly what's going to happen. In fact, I can picture it in my mind: I am going to paddle along (get taken out to sea) by the rip, try to swim across and end up right where I began next to the viciously sharp rocks. This will continue for a while and like a fly trapped in a bottle, I will sooner or later (sooner actually) give up from exhaustion and get washed into the rocks anyway. My skin will be peeled from my body like an onion and I will float around until I am claimed by a massive shark. The shark will not kill me but leave me - just a torso and a head now , alive to bob slowly up and down until death claims me an hour later.

In a moment of suicidal clarity I decide that I might as well get it over with now and save everybody the time and effort. I turn around and start heading for the rocks. At this point my mate thinks I've just lost the plot and stares on incredulous. Somehow I manage to land on a submerged rock and get to a relatively big, flat rock on which I am now kneeling. The water, up to this point, had been going out. Then I look behind me and I know I'm about to die. About five meters away a sizey beast of a wave is about to heave it's guts all over the the rocks. I am in the stickiest situation since Sticky the stick insect got stuck on a sticky bun!!! Seconds from death, my life flashes before my eyes and I'm looking heavenward and going "Ok, Lord. Now would be the time when you step in and hold back the waters like in Exodus/make me able to fly/ allow me to walk calmly on top of the water and out of this mess!!!!". Nothing. Wave about to break... OH POO!!!!

I brace myself for the worst and a split - second later, I feel the jarring impact of the wave. My left hand is already out to steady myself and with my right I am gripping my surfboard in the vain hope that I might save it from being dashed to peices. I feel a calm, almost ethereal feeling and think to myself "Oh, that wasn't so bad! Relatively quick and painless. Going to miss my folks though!! But now that I'm in Heaven everythings going to be fine. Then I'm jolted back to reality and I'm like "Ohmigosh!! I'm Alive!!! I didn't even move. Board still fine, me still fine. Ok. Best get going. So I manage to get behind a relatively big rock and use that for shelter. Another wave breaks over me, and I am still unscathed. When the water has receded, I make a dash up the side of the pier and get to safety. My mate who is still in the water can't beleive what he's just seen. My miraculous escape!! My board is fine, and I have one very minor scratch. It could have been a lot worse. I guess God was helping me after all. In fact, I pray for protection everytime I go into the surf, so God was faithful to answer.

So that's my exciting news for the day...

Cheerio!!

Hope springs eternal

Hi again

Well, the curry was alright I suppose. It actually tasted quite good in the end but there was a lot less of it than I expected there to be and it was a lot less saucy than I had intended. Well, nice but I'll have to find a way to improve the sauce. If anyone has any bright ideas on how to make mango and banana sauce, please let me know.

I just can't wait to see Ryan's (my enigmatic digsmate) face when I tell him he ate baby food tonight :) !!!!!!!! He's the kinda guy who isn't much into new experiences and quite set in his ways etc. etc. Very down the line/by the book/no funny business kind of guy. He's probably going to freak when he hears what I've done. He he he he....

Well, here's what happened: I decided to use purity (a brand of pureed baby food which actually tastes really nice once you stop thinking of it as baby food) to flavour my curry (trying to make a bananery sauce. I used some other funky pineapple relish for the sauce as well. I felt really spare buying the baby food. There I am standing in the supermarket looking very much like a student (which I am) in a very small town where students are very, very conspicuous due to their youthful complexions. Not that I'm saying that there are no young locals here but by and large, most local kids leave here for greener pastures once they get old enough to run away from home, which incedentally, is about the same time that they are mouthing the words "Mama", "Dada", or "Gaga". Oh my !! Listen to me!! I think the baby food is having some disturbing side effects. I say disturbing because it's not everyday that people around you look at you concernedly like they are doing now. What's that I hear about Fort England???

No wonder they tell you it's suitable for 1 - 3 year olds and don't say anything about any adverse side effects on the label. Since this is the normal behaviour of a 1 - 3 year old, no would notice anyway. Of all the dirty, low down ..... "Gaaaa"... Help !!!!

No, but really Gtown is not that bad. I wouldn't mind living here except for the fact that I like the big city and the sea a lot and as such, GTown would probably never work for me long term (says he who will have spent 5 years (at the end of next year) here). Anyway, I feel called (don't you just love that gem of charismatic/Christianese lingo? A thousand Super spiritual points for me!! - I think I may be overtaking brother Gareth (Another thousand there) in the race for the golden halo award for the most super - spiritual sayings in one year. No, seriously, God has got other plans for me. At some stage I am going to have to leave here which will be quite sad.

Had World View Surveys today. Was quite tough because I was feeling very tired. Felt like I was hitting a brick wall. World View surveys are surveys (funny thing that) that we do on campus as part of an effort to get a better picture of the basic beliefs and assumptions of the people we study with. Sort of like a database of prevailing worldviews on campus. Very helpful for quite a number of reasons. More importantly, they are also a kiff door to sharing the gospel in a friendly, respectful way with people. We do them every Wednesday and Friday and so far, they have been a great success.

Eish! Have less than a month for a prac. report, an essay and to finish the rest of my draft for my thesis. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This damn statistics program I am using keeps kishing out when I try to analyse the data. I think I may have broken the CPU.

Oh well. Such is life. If I don't get it to work I am just going to go home and do some other work.
Or I could sit here sucking my thumb and mouthing inanities all evening. Come to think of it, I'm sure I have brought my rattle down from Durban...

Chicken Tandoori

Hello Hobbitses!!!

I have had a lot to think about in the last few days. I'm not sure that I can write all about it right now, but let's just say it may involve a slight change of lifestyle. NO, I'm not backsliding, don't worry - but what I am considering is lifestyle changing none the less.

Thing is, I'm not even sure its necessary at this point. So I have to do some thinking and some research and make a well - informed decision on this. Oh, and following my conscience would be a good move as well. Funny thing that!

I have decided to do some experimental cooking tonight - I want to make a chicken curry with a mango and banana sauce. Should be quite interesting, especially since I only have a vague idea of what's going to happen. Oh well, if it flops then too bad. If it flies, then there's a good chance that I haven't cooked the chicken properly or that one of my digsies doesn't dig it too much so, ja. No, seriously, if it works, then I have a new recipe up my sleeve. I think you have to just go for it in these types of situations. If it doesn't work, the most you'll have to deal with is five angry digsmates. How bad can that be????

I mean given my rock hard body and extensive judo, jui jutsu, , kung - fu etc. training it should be allright. I can confidently handle an angry mob of thirty odd, so five enraged, red - faced, wide - eyed digsmates with spit flying out of their mouths and nostrils flaring shouldn't be that bad... Maybe I also shouldn't make the curry too hot either or the physiological reactions described above might be due to a different cause.

Well, nothing much more to report at this stage, because its uncannily early in the day for me to be posting. Normally I post when I have something worthwhile to say so now I fear I am just rambling.

K. Byeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Распадок.

I saw the sign...

Saw a sign at a pharmacy yesterday that I thought was quite amusing. It said:

"Hullo, I'm Jenny Yore phrendlie farm a cyst!"

Almost done cleaning that data. As I said, it's very very dirty. Had a kiff lunch at Evolution (a local restaurant) with a friend today.

Faster: The acceleration of just about everything

Hi. After not posting for a while, I feel the need for an excuse. Well, believe it or not, I've been working. NO! you say?? Yes, Working say I.

Ja, in truth, its been a heavy two weeks going back and forth to P.E. but that's over now and I have (or am in the process of) capturing the data that we've got and cleaning it (it's very dirty I cab assure you).

So here are the updates:

Digs is falling apart. There are some ppl that are keeping secrets from everyone else and other people that don't dig those some people very much. Personally, I've never been a fan of politics and I try my best to keep out of everyone else's business. Only thing is, because I'm neutral*, I get both side's version of the events.

*Maybe "neutral" is a slight over - exaggeration, because I do lean more to one side's point of view, but since said someone (the secret keeper) hasn't done anything bad to me - in fact, been downright nice to me, I see no reason to be angry with that person.

NEway, so there it is. I once heard a saying: "It's tough on the top and worse at the bottom". Well, let me tell you, being in the middle ain't no picnic either bru! I'm trying desparately to keep everyone at a civil level of relating (at least) in order to avoid atomic warfare of a magnitude never before experienced by mankind. Believe me, this situation has the propensity to get quite ugly.

K, on a lighter note: I'm swimming again. I kinda need to go early in the morning though, because if I don't, there's always the chance that someone in one of the res's might have a harpoon which would be disastrous because due to my alarming likeness to a whale they would be very tempted to try and harpoon me. Could you imagine the carnage?? The slaughter would be very great!! I can see the headlines now:

"Boy killed by harpoon in University swimming pool: Murderer claims case of mistaken identity".

In fact, it's actually gotten to a stage now where Greenpeace don't even try to tow me back out to sea when I'm surfing anymore, because they know that the whale is the sleeker - looking, more streamlined fish swimming next to me. My belly button arrives home fifteen minutes before I do!!! I have my own area code!! Hopefully the swimming will help me to lose weight tho.

Had the dodgiest meditationy/ frikkin' airey - fairey - new age - nonsense practical this weekend. How they could teach this stuff to University students (let alone Honours students) and how people could actually believe the (no adequate adjectives available here - but the feeling I get is one of wanting to vomit) that these people sprout. They produce more manure than an entire heard of cattle. Shame.

Neway, maybe I'll tell you about that next time.