Oh me of little Faith

Was on the loo this morning (I'm shure you all wanted to know that) when I got a call from the school that I am going to be stooging (coaching sport/helping the kids etc.) at next year. So, I got the job !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!

Last night I was stressing!! It was HECTIC!! I was thinking: Oh my!! What if I don't get in? I know God wants me here next year, but I don't think I can do that financially (I'm doing a volunteer year for my church)! I was contemplating going to Taiwan (which I knew wasn't in the plan - God's that is - because I KNEW that He wanted me to be here next year). Then I was like: "well, that would be tantamount to living in sin for a whole year (which really scares me: believe me, you don't want to make The Creator of the universe bleak!!) . On top of this, I had been asking, and God had been telling me all weekend that I actually did have the job.

Also, verses like Mt 13:7 and Mk 4:7 - saying how worries and things of the world can choke one's productivity for God. At the same time God is telling me to chill. NEway, all this going thru around in my head was quite hectic. and I realised one thing - The verses most applicable to me at that time was: Lu 12:28, Mt 6:30 and Mt 8:26. I was 'of little faith' !!!

First, a definition of Faith, taken from the famous (to His People Bible School students the world over) Heb 11:1 - What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see. (My lecturers would be proud !!)
Since we walk by faith and not by sight, and since faith in God is one of the fundamentals of Christianity, I need to develop faith!!

Luckily, 2Tim 2:13 says : "if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself.".

But nevertheless, this has brought to light the urgent need for me to develop. If I am going to do HUGE things for God, then I need to develop faith in order to accomplish them, because I'm not going to be told/ spoon - fed everything. Some decisions are going to have to be purely faith - based, trusting that God is good, and that He will take care of me, and that He can do exeedingly, abundantly, more than I had ever hoped for or imagined, and that His way is the best. In short, I need to take Him at His word don't I? After all, He cannot lie.

I guess I'm just a paranoid android and this has shown me how weak, frail and dull I really am!! I often wonder how on earth the disciples could have doubted Jesus right after he had done all these amazing miracles in their sight!! I mean, the bread (at the feeding of the five thousand) was multiplied in their own hands!! Not Jesus' If you read carefully, He told the disciples to distrubute the food!! Even after this, the next time they still doubt. Jesus looks at them and says "Are you still so dull?"

Well I wonder about this no more!! I am no better than them. If I could be half the men they were!!! Who am I to think I'm any more clever or wise?? Looking at last year, God and only God rescued me from failing Computer Science 3. Also, throughout my academic career he has been there, giving me success and looking out for me. The very fact that I am in honours is a miracle (at Graduation, there were a whackload of people that got distinctions and other such accolades for Psychology, yet I got in and they didn't). So why am I still so dull?? This was a tiny in comparison to the stuff God has done in my life. Anyway, He has never failed me (and never will).

Don't know. All I know is that I need to learn to trust God more...