Oh me of little Faith

Was on the loo this morning (I'm shure you all wanted to know that) when I got a call from the school that I am going to be stooging (coaching sport/helping the kids etc.) at next year. So, I got the job !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY!!!

Last night I was stressing!! It was HECTIC!! I was thinking: Oh my!! What if I don't get in? I know God wants me here next year, but I don't think I can do that financially (I'm doing a volunteer year for my church)! I was contemplating going to Taiwan (which I knew wasn't in the plan - God's that is - because I KNEW that He wanted me to be here next year). Then I was like: "well, that would be tantamount to living in sin for a whole year (which really scares me: believe me, you don't want to make The Creator of the universe bleak!!) . On top of this, I had been asking, and God had been telling me all weekend that I actually did have the job.

Also, verses like Mt 13:7 and Mk 4:7 - saying how worries and things of the world can choke one's productivity for God. At the same time God is telling me to chill. NEway, all this going thru around in my head was quite hectic. and I realised one thing - The verses most applicable to me at that time was: Lu 12:28, Mt 6:30 and Mt 8:26. I was 'of little faith' !!!

First, a definition of Faith, taken from the famous (to His People Bible School students the world over) Heb 11:1 - What is faith? It is the confident assurance that what we hope for is going to happen. It is the evidence of things we cannot yet see. (My lecturers would be proud !!)
Since we walk by faith and not by sight, and since faith in God is one of the fundamentals of Christianity, I need to develop faith!!

Luckily, 2Tim 2:13 says : "if we are faithless, he will remain faithful, for he cannot disown himself.".

But nevertheless, this has brought to light the urgent need for me to develop. If I am going to do HUGE things for God, then I need to develop faith in order to accomplish them, because I'm not going to be told/ spoon - fed everything. Some decisions are going to have to be purely faith - based, trusting that God is good, and that He will take care of me, and that He can do exeedingly, abundantly, more than I had ever hoped for or imagined, and that His way is the best. In short, I need to take Him at His word don't I? After all, He cannot lie.

I guess I'm just a paranoid android and this has shown me how weak, frail and dull I really am!! I often wonder how on earth the disciples could have doubted Jesus right after he had done all these amazing miracles in their sight!! I mean, the bread (at the feeding of the five thousand) was multiplied in their own hands!! Not Jesus' If you read carefully, He told the disciples to distrubute the food!! Even after this, the next time they still doubt. Jesus looks at them and says "Are you still so dull?"

Well I wonder about this no more!! I am no better than them. If I could be half the men they were!!! Who am I to think I'm any more clever or wise?? Looking at last year, God and only God rescued me from failing Computer Science 3. Also, throughout my academic career he has been there, giving me success and looking out for me. The very fact that I am in honours is a miracle (at Graduation, there were a whackload of people that got distinctions and other such accolades for Psychology, yet I got in and they didn't). So why am I still so dull?? This was a tiny in comparison to the stuff God has done in my life. Anyway, He has never failed me (and never will).

Don't know. All I know is that I need to learn to trust God more...

Rhyming Couplets

Afternoon everyone.

I wrote this little nonsense poem about myself. Don't ask why or how. Just be content with the fact that it was written and rest safe in the knowledge that I am not a narcissist.
While I am clearly not going to become Poet Laureate, I decided to show everyone my handiwork:

Glen's a name that rhymes with a bird,
which to me, seems quite absurd!
One thing is a consolation,
that the bird is eaten on occasion.

Alas, Glen is also a brand of tea,
Is there any connection it and me?
Or was it simply coincedence,
that the makers gave me fifty pence?

Glen refers to a deep narrow valley,
no confusion here doth tarry,
For I am very definitely Au - fait,
about losing golf balls from the fairway.

NOTICE: no animals were harmed in the making of this poem (except the damn hen!!).

Ok, will rhyme .... sorry, write later.

Whassup !?!?

I'm back. I have had the most dizzying week so far!! For all of you who have made it part of your routine to religiously check my blog : you know who you all are - A big sorry.

On Monday we went to P.E. to meet with the casino shar... managers. They reviewed the questionnaire and allowed us to come and do research at their den of ini..respectable estamblishment. I had to physically restrain myself from tearing my clothes multiple times.

After driving my colleugue's car there (she felt unsafe driving on the highway). NEway, we get there at about 12:30pm. Our project supervisor (a very nice but extremely odd individual) says he knows a place where they serve very good fish and chips. We are thinking that this is a good plan since we are all pretty frikkin' skraalies (hungry) by now. So I steer the car in the direction of this rumoured restaurant. All the time I'm thinking "Ah, what culinary perfection awaits!!" I can already taste that hamburger I'm going to have.

At this point, we arrive at what is probably the world's worst thing. This scaffy beachfront take away. Oh my word !! It was worse than Johnnies in Durban. Picture Point Rd/Warwick triangle/Hillbrow in Joburg and you all get a fair picture of what I'm talking about. Only problem is, normally you don't have to stay there (in one place) for very long: Johnnies is quick with your dag. However, this spot wasn't. I felt I needed a tetanus injection just from looking at the place.

As for the food: There are amoeba on Saturn who could make a better hamburger than that. The mushroom sauce I ordered on my burger was made out of pure lard. Frankly quite disgusting.

Then had to drive back.

So, swimming tomorrow morning before going back to P.E. (in the afternoon).

Conned myself into believing that I would come down here and work. What an absolute lie.
Going home now to tidy my room...

Oh" what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day..."

Good Morning Vietnam !!!!

I'm feeling rather good this morning actually. Was woken up again by my wonderful digsmate Carol with coffee (God bless her heart!!). She is the biggest legend !! I'm going to miss not having her for a digsmate next year but since we've all decided to stay in close touch and go out for coffee/ a meal regularly, I think it should be fine.

NEway, I go off to class expecting to have this HECTIC day (Its quite a shock doing a three hour stint after not being in class for three weeks). Well we ended after 30mins. or so, so I have come here to finish up my literature review. With any luck I should have it done by tonight or tomorrow. So that will be a huge relief. Still, when the data gets collected, the real work will start with the analysis.

Yes, enough about my project !!! I have quite a bit of reading to do for Wednesday so I think some more highlighters are in order. I have refillable ones (or so they claim) but I haven't a clue how to refill them. I anyone knows, please enlighten me (OK, sorry - BAD pun). But yes, pleeeeeeeze, because I'd rather not keep having to buy these things every 3 months. The fact that I have to do the reading is ok because at least I can curl up in bed and do it there as opposed to sitting in these here labs. It's freezing outside anyway (not raining, but sunny and freezing). What's the deal with that?? It's supposed to be spring here!!

So what else ?? Oh ja, everyone back in digs except Charmaine. She probably stayed in Durban a day longer and is travelling back today. So its all nice and homely again. Yay for that!! Was beginning to miss everyone.

I am going to have some lunch now. Tuna mayonnaise on rolls. My mouth is watering already!!!

Bye for now.

Распадок.

This love has taken it's toll on me...

Right.

I'm back now, sitting in my favourite seat in the laboratory (it's normally stolen by the time I get here, but seeing as today is a Sunday, I managed to score it. We are such creatures of habit !! Why is that?

Also, I was thinking about this earlier: a bonus about working on Sunday is that you get through the long dark teatime of the soul (read the post entitled "Thermal Underwear" from Sept. 15 and you'll see what I mean).

Had a really weird experience this morning. I woke up just before my digsmate Ryan knocked on my door to wake me up. So odd. So when he knocked I was aldready fully awake and was like "come in". I think it may have been because the sounds of him making breakfast etc. woke me up before. It was very confusing though.

I'm keen for the project thing again, but now its like three o'clock already and I have 3 1/2 hours before church starts. Will work until say 5:30 and then go up to get some chow before church starts. Can't go on an empty stomach now can we ?

K, so must get going then.

Byeeeeee.

Woof Woof

Apparently I was born in the year of the Dog.
I have no idea what the implications of this are, but that would certainly explain my affinity for all types of our furry friends. I have been known to howl at the moon on occasion. I also quite dig puppy chunks for breakfast.

Dre was born in the year of the ox. There must have been some mistake there, cos physically, he is the exact opposite of an ox. Quite brainy (Andre that is), still has everything and not exactly Arnold Schwarzenegger (who would make a good ox) in terms of muscle. Of course Dre could always like hanging out with oxen?? My friend Rog was born in the year of the monkey. Hmmm ... yes, I can see where they are coming from :)

Project dead. Can't get any further. Sitting here since whenever I last posted and haven't gotten any further. I've been reading stuff, but I now have a huge headache and since this stuff is so incredibly boring, I'm not having fun anymore....

Hey everybody.

Didn't post yesterday cos I was working at home on my digsmate's puter. Didn't get much done though.

Ok, so as promised, here's how golf went: woe betide the man who cannot hit straight on that course i.e. me. The rough up there is full - on bushveld bru!!! Also, the wind howls there, so hard that sometimes it is pretty much impossible to play, which doesn't make matters any easier.

I hit a few good shots, but I have this irritating habit of slicing the ball. I keep my head down religiously, my stance is right etc. etc. and I just can't figure out what is going on. Shot 52 on the first nine (I'm going to go hide now...). Ok, I'm back. Now where was I? Oh, yes: NEway, we had fun and a few laughs - not to mention a few bundu bashing sessions. At one time I found myself in a deep donga (ditch) trying to hit my ball out and back onto the fairway. If you've seen one of those typical pics of a Scotsman in a kilt trying to "play it as it lies", then you get a fair idea of what that was like. R

This morning I woke up (after sleeping in) and made myself an awesome brunch of crispy bacon, eggs, fried mushrooms, toast and coffee. Too good!!!!!!

In light of the disturbing information that I read on my friend Dre's blog, I decided to do a Jungian dream analysis on the content of his recent posts (which are about his dreams - funnily enough). So the following is my professional psychological opinion:

Andre's dreams exhibit disturbing megalomaniacal tendencies (an example of this is thinking that he's actually going to play with Coldplay). This theme is carried on in his dreams about his girlfriend in which he subsequently kills her (how offsides is that??). The evidence leads me to conclude one thing about this last dream: that Dre fully rates himself as a "babe slayer"!!!!

Poor, deluded man that he is. I suggest he gets some professional help soon before he begins to think that people (besides me) are actually reading his blog and that he actually has real friends. It's so sad that some people have to resort to delusions such as these to protect themselves psychologically from the harsh realities of life...

Sleepless in Seattle

Ahem, ...

"trasmettendo sull'onda corta e media"....

Nothing much to report today. Made some headway with the project. Only have two more pages to go to fulfil my quota for today. However, if I don't its no biggie. Going to work on it tonight though.

Most of my time was spent figuring out where to go from yesterday. Once I had worked it all out in my head I drew a diagram/mind map (where did they get that term from?? - I mean, is it a map of the dude's mind ?? Surely not. Well, in any case, if you were to see a map of my mind, you'd get lost rather quickly ;) ) NEway, where was I, oh yes, and now I'm working from the mind map so the structure stays very logical.

I bought some good coffee (finally). It's Ciro (for those who care) and I'm staring at the packet thinking that some would be good now. I'm going to go home soon - as the sun is in the process of going down - and have some. It will be a welcome change from that chicory muck that I have been forcing down my throat for the last while. I just wish that they sold Lavazza here.

Playing golf tomorrow, so watch this space for an update of how it goes. It should be quite entertaining for you all to read, since the world's worst golfer (this is no exaggeration) - I mean of those that can actually hit a ball; the others don't count as golfers - will be playing on the world's worst course (again, no exaggeration). There are amoeba on Saturn who could build a better golf course than this one (and play golf better than I can).

However, the fact that the blokes who I play with aren't much better (except maybe Lester) gives me some solace. Also, we may be able to fit in 18 holes as opposed to the 9 we normally play.

Had a terrible night's sleep. Woke up at around 02:30 or so and Cassie was going off, growling etc. !!! I thought she was just being her usual rashy self and trying to get some attention. She has done this in the early hours of the morning before but due to Gareth's impressive ambidextrous manipulation of a rubber band and a toilet seat while holding the gate open with one leg in a perfect ballerina - like pose, she hasn't done it in a while. Neway, I'm lying there thinking to myself "Shut up Dammit!!" when all of a twice she goes really, really silent.

This is now really freaky cos I'm thinking: "O.K. someone's just come in and killed Cassie." So I lie there waiting and listening and she's not making any noise whatsoever. Now, wisdom dictates that I get up and go and have a look around, but since I'm really not keen, I am looking for a way to search the yard without actually getting out of bed.*(You choose the ending that you find most appropriate).

*At this point I remember that earlier that day, in order to locate a piece of cheese, I had eaten the mind of a mouse. This allowed me to read the mouse's mind and find the nearest piece of cheese.

So, since the memory traces of the mouse's mind had not yet faded to a point where it was impossible, I again utilised the mouse's mind to telepathically scan the yard in search of any ... undesirables. This search was in fact fruitless, but it left me with an insatiable desire for a block of cheese, which made any chance of sleep impossible.

*Ja, so, I'm lying there going "I DO NOT WANT TO GET UP!!!" At which point I stumble onto a very clever idea: I will lie there and listen very very closely for any sound of a burglar. Since I have the highly attuned senses of the arctic mongoose, this sounds like a good idea to me. I didn't hear anything and Cassie didn't make any noise whatsoever for a good while. Anyway, when she did I though it might be time to get some sleep. Since I had been concentrating so hard, and because my sleeping pattern is thoroughly messed, I couldn't and the rest of the night was spent drifting in and out of shallow sleep.

I am keen to get some kiff dos before tomorrow.

Распадок.

Thermal Underwear

Went to watch "the terminal" last night.

All in all a good movie (won't make my top ten list though). I can see how some people might find it incredibly boring, because there was no real "climax" so to speak. There was no really bad foe to overcome and no really huge battle to fight. As a result it seemed a bit on the bland side. I suppose that's how Speilberg (or his Mexican non - union counterpart Senr. Spielbergo) wanted to make the audience feel.

That feeling that Victor Nivorsky (ah, a model communist !!!) must have felt, that feeling that Douglas Adams so aptly describes as "In the end, it was the Sunday afternoons he couldn't cope with, and that terrible listlessness which starts to set in at about 2:55, when you know that you've had all the baths you can usefully have that day, that however hard you stare at any given paragraph in the papers you will never actually read it, or use the revolutionary new pruning technique it describes, and that as you stare at the clock the hands will move relentlessly on to four o'clock, and you will enter the long dark teatime of the soul." - Douglas Adams, Life, the Universe and Everything. Beautiful Words by a very gifted man!!! NEway can you imagine old Victor in the Airport feeling that??

Also, the way the guy figured out the trolley thing to get bucks?? Amazing! He could have given up after all his meal tickets were lost, but he didn't. He found a way to get dosh. And what I respect a lot is that he didn't beg or steal, he WORKED!

There are many other things I enjoyed about the movie. The homour was weird, very dry but i warmed up to it eventually. Gupta the cleaning dude was far too funny!!! I thought it was hysterical when he ran out to hit the boeing 767 with a mop. Kinda like david and Goliath dodn't you think? This small, frail old Indian man running to meet this hulking steel behemoth of an aircraft and thinking he can win!! He does too !! Great !!!

Sorry if I for spoiled it for anyone :P

My mate Dre diggety dawg is blogging which is cool. What is not cool is being a theif (he freely admits to copying me: dreinctown.blogspot.com). On one level, I'm quite flattered. On another, I don't really care and on a third, I'm wanting to help him because I feel he is having a crisis of identity - Love you bru!!! You know I do.

In other news, Cassie, Gareth's weird but cool dog licked my leg this morning while I was trying to lube my bicycle chain. When I say "licked" I mean full - on schlurped. This was quite disturbing and had I not been wearing track - suit pants at the time, my leg would have closely resembled the Niagra falls after a spell of very heavy rain. Believe me, it was rather sif. Gareth bru, I think we must feed the beast or else she will start to think we are food. I mean its only a natural conclusion for a dog:

Hmmm, no food again....
Damn I'm hungry !!
Wait a minute !! Maybe those things walking around on their two hind legs (how do they do > that?) are my food?
Maybe I'm supposed to catch them??? Maybe its a test??
Oooohh look, there's an unsuspecting one right now!
Slowly does it!!
Closer now!!
Ah hah !! I've got you. You unsuspecting little thing.
Lick lick lick, Hmmm, good !!! Leg of Glen tastes sooooo nice, hmmm can't get enough of
this, hmmmm soft and juicy, hmmmmmm etc etc.
Wait !! No, come back!! Not finished !!!
Must try stop thing from escaping!!!
Dope !! Got out the gate just before I could get to it...

See ??? So in the interests of my sanity, please can we feed her more ??

Thesis going well.
Stubble check: haven't shaved for 2 weeks. Going for the full - beard thing.

Распадок.

The butcher, the baker and the candlestick maker

Howdy

The length of my posts these days is beginning to surprize even me.

I have written four, yes, four pages of my literature review so far!!! OK, so what I'm saying in effect is that I have a tenth of my entire project done. "So what ?" you say? Well, I feel great!! Not only have I finished most (if not all) of the actual research/reading but have actually started writing. You see, I now know where to go with this whole thing.

Ok, I'm feeling some explanation is pertinent here: I am the world's biggest procrastinator. In fact, I would have multiple Guinness world records for this trait except for the fact that I feel I cannot enter due to respect for the opposition. I mean, how unfair would that be? Rather let people who are reasonably good compete, then its exciting for everyone. If I had to enter, I would win hands down every time and everybody would be bored out of their skulls. Same with surfing. That's why I'm taking a break for now and just letting the others "have a chance" to feel what winning's like :)

NEway, If I keep on like this, I will have the Lit. review done by Friday. At which stage golf is going to be looking like a good option (Or maybe a surf). Since this is what I have been aiming for anyway, I am as happy as can be. You see, if I take it in stages: page 6 today, page 9 tomorrow, page 12 Thursday and page 15 Friday I should be sorted.

My brother is in the States somewhere. Lucky bum! He is permanently on holiday. Every time I phone him he's somewhere else: "Switzerland, Germany, Italy, France, U.S., Scotland etc. etc. Its ridiculous.

OK, well must go now.
Apologies for another thesis - related post.
I hope you guys still like my blog. As opposed to lick my blog.

Maybe I'll post again later today when I'm in a funnier mood.

Auf Weidersehen

Распадок.

Hello

I took yesterday (Sunday ) off and proceeded to sleep for 12 hours. I am beginning to think I have the gift of sleep. Glen 12: 6 - 8 says:

" 6 God has given each of us the ability to do certain things well. So if God has given you the ability to prophesy, speak out when you have faith that God is speaking through you. 7 If your gift is that of serving others, serve them well. If you are a teacher, do a good job of teaching. 8 If your gift is to encourage others, do it! If you have money, share it generously. If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. If God has given you the ability to sleep for extended periods of time, do it to the best of your ability. And if you have a gift for showing kindness to others, do it gladly. " (emphisis mine). Ok, Why am I sensing some possible disbeilief from everyone here?

No, seriously, I needed it though. My body was very happy. Then I spent some of the day tidying my room. For those of my associates who remember what my room looked like in 1st year, you know what I'm talking about and boy did it need tidying!!! But I've done it and I feel much better. I acknowledge that I need to work on this area.

Watched the Jars of Clay (My favourite band in the whole wide cosmos) DVD yesterday evening. Well, some of it. Awesome. Dan Haseltine (the lead vocalist) is a bit strange though. If you've ever seen him perform you might know what I'm talking about.

Also, I have joined a small elitist sect statrted by John Peter Frank Richter, known as the Sabbath - day something or others. The correct title eludes me. (Pls. Note: This is not to be confused with 7th Day Adventists who I am not in any way belittling/ridiculing/taking the mickey out of). Well, yes, after that disclaimer, I must say that this is what we believe:

1) That every day is holy because it has been made by God. Therefore, because of that, every day is the Sabbath. Therefore, we cannot work. EVER!!!!
This has its foundations in the scriptures as can be seen by: 5 In the same way, some think one day is more holy than another day, while others think every day is alike. Each person should have a personal conviction about this matter. Romans 14:5 This apparent "lack" of work will free us up for the more fruitful passtimes of prayer and ministry of the word. (Acts 6:4) This last comment is likely to earn me 354 Super - Spiritual points and put me in the running for this year's S.S. award and the coveted title of "Halo - Boy" for 2004.

2) Because we believe that the love of money is the root of all evil (1 Tim 6:10), as servant leaders we will take the yoke from the necks of our tempted and oppressed followers and therefore encourage them to bequeath all of their worldly possessions to us, in order to free them from temptation.

Well, this whole post is actually a lie. Except the parts about cleaning my room, sleeping (not including the bit about the gift of sleep, which doesn't exist - funny that,) and watching the DVD.
All of which were in their own right, very entertaining.

Enough of my crazed ramblings

Good Bye!!!

Распадок. (my mom has now started calling me "pancake" because of this signature. How rude!!!!)

Well, It's Saturday Sept. 11. 2004

If you're reading this, take a moment to remember those innocents who perished in N.Y. 3 years ago and the brave men and women who were part of the rescue effort.

I'm stuck behind in GTown for the vac. Frantically working to get my literature review (for my project/thesis) done. It's very lonely here and very quiet. Only zimbo's (Zimbabweans - just over 10% of the university is required to be Zimbabwean), locals and yocals left. Yocals are types like my digsmate and next door neighbour Gareth (Check out his blog: www.welovegareth@blogspot.com) and numerous other friends of mine who have decided that they would actually like to live here on a permanent basis.

We met with our project supervisor on Thursday and we have found out that the next time we can actually do aything to make this thing go is on the 22nd Sept. Incedentally, that's two days AFTER the date when the first complete draft of our thesis has to be handed in. Clearly this is not happening. This should be highly distressing, but I'm actually quite chilled about it. God is so in control.

In case you're wondering why I called this blog "Factory in GTown" and not "How is my research project going?" or "Daily updates of Glen's project" or "Glen's Project diary" its because this blog is actually meant to be representative of my whole life in GTown and at Rhodes. Problem is, this is my whole life at the moment. I will let eveyone know next time I go for a wave in Port Alfred, break into Roger's house there, steal all his food and use his beds to sleep on (Hey bud?) :P Don't think I haven't been planning to either mate. I miss not having someone around to steal hubcaps from!! I may not find any food, but those beds... Or next time I play golf. That's always good for a laugh. B.T.W. The course here ranks among the worst in the entire world (well, at least those I have played on or seen).

OK, well must go.

P.S. If you're interested, go check out www.pumamanzi.com. Then go to the longboard section and scroll down to the pic of the "woody". You will then have a pretty accurate pic of what I want for my next board. The site "look and feel" sucks, but you get the idea.
F.Y.I. I surfed with Ryan Harris (the guy in the top pic.) at South African longboard champs held at New Pier, Durban, 2000. He was in the age group above me (Open men) while I was in the U18 Natal - B side.

I was demolished by the opposition in that one !! Went out in round two. I still suspect that someone put sunscreen an my wax (a dastardly practice used by some to increase their chances of winning or by your own team mates as a means of initiation). Never found out if it was true though. Also, the waves were 2ft and very wind blown and sloppy and had no power. For a big guy like me, that's a recipe for didaster, so it's equally possible that I just sucked. Whatever the case, I'm looking forward to competing again in the future when I finally repatriate to Durban (hopefully in 2006).

Hello people!!

Woke up at 6am this morning !! Took my digsmate Ryan's advice and had a shower to wake up (not that I needed one). It was the worst shower I've ever had, but I'm pretty stoked with myself. 1 X noddy badge for me !!!

Have been reading more literature about gambling for my project. The more I read the more bleak I get to see how this thing hurts people. It's not funny man!! This dude let's call him Yevgeni started gambling as a result of a midlife crisis and the next thing you know: Bye bye wife and kids, hello drug addiction !! Other stories like people gambling away their rent/electricity/gas/kids' school fee money in an attempt to "make up their losses" and "hit the lucky one". It's BAD!! and its an addiction !!!

The casinos & slot machine operators know exactly how ppl think and the cognitive distortions (bad/illogical thinking) happen: i.e. if you get two red BAR's on a machine with three, the automatic response is "Oh, I nearly won !! I must be getting close to the big one." Actually, a miss is as good as a mile.

Just think about this: If you could "beat the game" why are the casinos in existence in the first place? A: you can't beat the game and that's what they rely on. In fact, if you want the best chances of winning (statistically) place all ur bet on 1 roulette spin. As time goes by and the number of times you play increases, the chance of you winning decreases (by a lot) !!!

Also, most ppl gamble to "forget" their problems: this is where it really becomes insidious. Gambling feeds off of this, creating a surreal environment in which to do this. Temporary relief!!! Once outside the compounded trounbles of life plus your (very) recent losses hit you. At this time, suicide looks good. I'll leave the rest up to you.

Of course, we can't apportion all the blame to the evil casinos though. The gambler must take responsibility for his/her own life. It's a case (for the casino) of providing the opportunity for entertainment (why somebody would want to risk/throw away their hard earned cash in the name of entertainment is beyond me) and they do not view themselves as responsible for those who can't control themselves. In the same way as S.A.B. doesn't hold itself responsible for drunken driving. Maybe and maybe not. If nobody gambled, would the casino still run ?? Supply and demand. On the flip - side, do people gamble because the casino is there? Maybe a bit of both. The casino's do seem to take full advantage of people's bad thinking.

Maybe Jack Johnson's lyrics have some application here:

"it was you, it was me, it was every man,
weve all got the blood on our hands,
we only receive what we demand
and if we want hell then hell's what well have"

Neway, for those that engage in any activity to escape life's problems and fill up the void inside that you know is there: ONLY ONE PERSON can fill that for you. His Name is Jesus Christ and he died so that you could live eternally. He took your sin on his shoulders so that you can be in relationship with God. Blaise Pascal had a name for that hole: he called it the God - shaped vacuum - i.e. only God can fill it. For anyone that is reading this and knows its you: you need to give your life wholly and fully to Christ today. Turn away from your sin and put your trust in Jesus to save you. Pray and He will andswer. Then find a Christian (a real one) and go to church/find a CHRISTIAN church. You must accept him as both "Lord" i.e. boss and "Saviour".

Then get discipled !!!!!

Also, go to www.needgod.com: some great stuff there.

lastly, if you do read this and make a decision for Christ, or would like to know more, email me at snolly14@gmail.com or g01s3222@campus.ru.ac.za

God bless you all.

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Waking the dead

Ahhh, another day, so many new and exciting challenges to face!!!! The world seems new !!!!!!!
NEway, have to read obscene amounts of research today so wish me luck. By the time I am finished, my eyes will be red and sore from staring at my screen all day. But such is life.

Once again, I didn't wake up early enough this morning, or rather, did and proceeded to lie in bed for 45 mins shifting between states of waking and light sleep. What !?!? It was so nice and warm. Then my wonderful, lovely, beautiful Digsmate Carol (she's awesome) came in and gave me some coffee. In light of this, I have decided upon an epitaph for myself: "I didn't wake up at 07:00..." That is pretty much the story of my life. Every night I go to sleep having these grandiose plans of "waking up early". Ja, whatever!!! One can but try though.

Well one thing is a bonus: I got my beauty sleep !!!

OK, time to plunge into work mode.....

Work eat sleep, work eat sleep, work eat sleep.